I told her exactly what I thought of her. A lengthy diatribe so exquisitely worded and delivered with such righteous contempt. She finally recognized herself for what she really was and I laughed in the face of her utter mortification. Oh, the satisfaction!
If the dream had ended with me judo chopping her face, it would have been DELICIOUS.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
At long last, overview of the psych placement.
I've been neglecting this blog a little bit. I could say it's because I was working pretty much full-time in May, but since then I've had a blessed break of 10 days. And although I am working full-time again (more on that later), it's in 12-hour shifts, which gives me lots of days off. So I hope to begin writing again more regularly during the summer.
I think I'll begin with a description of my 3.5 weeks clinical placement at the largest psychiatric hospital in Montreal, as a sort of catharsis. Oh...what can I say. The whole thing was poorly organized to begin with. For instance, no one could really tell me the goal of my particular unit until I actually got there and talked to my preceptor. And on the orientation day, me and three other students wandered around for 2 hours because no one told us where we were supposed to meet the prof, which led us to assume that we were expected to be in the main lobby. A rather obvious supposition, no? Unfortunately, the institute is composed of many buildings like a university campus and there's a special administration building where all such orientations take place. We would have known this if we had actually made it to the orientation!
My first day on the unit was fairly uneventful. I had expected patients to be confined to their rooms and was surprised to find that they were walking around so freely when I stepped off the elevator. Then I found out that they were mostly schizophrenic patients who were in programs to be moved back into the community eventually. Some never make it, most move out and then return in a matter of weeks and very few actually live outside for a longer period of time. It was a very lax environment compared to the medical/surgical units I'd been on. Staff breaks lasted 90 minutes or so. Most afternoons were spent gossiping or in the case of a student like myself, pretending to be busy reading articles while surreptitiously playing sudoku.
I hated it at first. The giant gap under the door of the smoking room made the whole unit smell like smoke and gave me throbbing headaches. Patients thought they could take advantage of me and push me around because I was new. The very first day, I went outside to wait for my friends so that we could have lunch bitch session in the sunshine. A man who was obviously an alcoholic sat down next to me and a very awkward half an hour followed during which I tried my best to use my therapeutic conversation techniques and he somehow took that as flirting. When he finally walked away, I bolted back to the main door, fumbling with my key like the clumsy main character in a horror movie. I vowed never to go outside by myself again.
It did eventually get better. I was allowed to participate more in the unit activities. I took over medications for all of my preceptor's patients in my first week, including bi-weekly IM injections. I conducted interviews with several patients on the unit even though I wasn't officially responsible for them. I took part in rounds and called hospitals and family members to get medical records that were missing. It was a hell of a lot better than what my friends were doing down in the Memory Clinic: MMSE day in, day out, some tai chi (YEAH) and computer programs designed to stimulate memory and learning. I shadowed in the memory clinic for one hour and it was deadly dull. They do mostly paperwork down there. I do want to have a clinic eventually, but I doubt my paperwork will be as absurdly pointless as theirs.
I also got more comfortable being around patients who could potentially have a psychotic episode at any given moment. The trick, I think, is being calm and firm. Most patients were on their medications, which meant that they were very unlikely to try and choke you out of the blue. Due to a panic button shortage, I ended up not having one for most of my stay there, which was admittedly dangerous when I think about it. But I was never very far from the nursing station and there was always a staff member nearby to step in or go get help.
There were two memorable incidents, which would have escalated into something very unpleasant if I hadn't gotten help immediately. The first involved a young male patient with a history of sexual harrassment and assault, which actually landed him in the unit via a court order. I was trying to get a patient to take her morning meds when I felt something brush past my butt. I looked up and the man was walking away from me. I couldn't decide if he was just walking by and accidentally touched me, but then why wouldn't he choose to walk between the other tables where there was a lot of space? I told my preceptor as soon as the patient took her medications and he brought it to everyone's attention during the morning report. Then there was a patient meeting with my preceptor, the unit coordinator, me and the patient in a smaller office. My preceptor basically came out and told the patient that he knew the patient did it on purpose. The patient didn't try to deny it and simply left the room.
My initial reaction was perturbation, I think. I was really hoping that the patient didn't do it on purpose, because the fact that someone could deliberately do that to me was very upsetting. And I couldn't retaliate in any other way, because he is sick (and mentally retarded). The court found him not responsible for his actions because of his illness and I completely understand that, but it still took a couple of days before I could give him his medication without feeling an underlying sense of dread. In a way, it was good that I had this kind of experience early on, because now I know to be more vigilant and I know what to do.
The second incident upset me much more. It was my second last day on the unit and I was giving morning medications to the same patient I was trying to convince in the first episode. She is a really sick lady. She's completely paranoid, delusional, irrational and sarcastic. She was apparently much better when she was on lithium, but it had to be stopped because she started having kidney problems. Anyway, there was nothing new that morning. She was mocking the way I spoke and was extremely annoyed that I was interrupting her breakfast, but I was used to her insults by that point. Then she started breaking one of her many many pills in half. I asked her what she was doing and she started screaming that she always took half the pill. I reminded her that she'd been taking the same pill every morning for a long time. That's when she showed me her fist and asked if I would like being punched in the face. Thankfully, a nurse stepped in at that point and I was allowed to leave the unit to regain my composure. I sat outside on a bench and cried. It was ridiculous. I shouldn't have taken it so personally because she was...well, there's no other word than "insane" really, but in that split second when she threatened to punch me, I was shocked. Angry, too. I have a terrible temper when pushed and if I hadn't been in a mental hospital, I probably would have screamed something like "What the fuck did you just say to me?" and flipped over a table or two. When I came back, there was a patient meeting with my preceptor, the nurse who helped me and the patient. After 10 minutes of reining in her absurd tangents and digressions, they finally got her to apologize to me with much reluctance. I doubt it actually got through to her that aggression is unacceptable towards anyone, because she's in such a haze of paranoid and persecutory delusions, but she did apologize. That was an improvement enough for me.
Of course, in a place like that, the bad stuff is always more memorable. But I like to think I have some nice memories to make up for them. The nurses and other staff are very nice, for one thing. They're no Nurse Ratchet, that's for sure. They get frustrated too, because some patients are so resistant to helping themselves and psychiatry isn't exactly known for its "cures", but they genuinely like working at the hospital and they try their best to help their patients. I'll remember all the advice they gave me for the rest of my career.
Important things I learned about psych:
1) Get a damn panic button and wear it.
2) Don't assume that the patients can think as rationally as you. But try to reorient them in the real world as much as possible.
3) They're really like children. They're either extremely well-behaved or frustrating like the devil.
4) Be nice, but let them know that you're not to be trifled with when they overstep boundaries.
5) Don't take anything personally and leave everything behind when you're done for the day.
Hmm...now that I've written it, it's a bit lacking in humour, no?
I think I'll begin with a description of my 3.5 weeks clinical placement at the largest psychiatric hospital in Montreal, as a sort of catharsis. Oh...what can I say. The whole thing was poorly organized to begin with. For instance, no one could really tell me the goal of my particular unit until I actually got there and talked to my preceptor. And on the orientation day, me and three other students wandered around for 2 hours because no one told us where we were supposed to meet the prof, which led us to assume that we were expected to be in the main lobby. A rather obvious supposition, no? Unfortunately, the institute is composed of many buildings like a university campus and there's a special administration building where all such orientations take place. We would have known this if we had actually made it to the orientation!
My first day on the unit was fairly uneventful. I had expected patients to be confined to their rooms and was surprised to find that they were walking around so freely when I stepped off the elevator. Then I found out that they were mostly schizophrenic patients who were in programs to be moved back into the community eventually. Some never make it, most move out and then return in a matter of weeks and very few actually live outside for a longer period of time. It was a very lax environment compared to the medical/surgical units I'd been on. Staff breaks lasted 90 minutes or so. Most afternoons were spent gossiping or in the case of a student like myself, pretending to be busy reading articles while surreptitiously playing sudoku.
I hated it at first. The giant gap under the door of the smoking room made the whole unit smell like smoke and gave me throbbing headaches. Patients thought they could take advantage of me and push me around because I was new. The very first day, I went outside to wait for my friends so that we could have lunch bitch session in the sunshine. A man who was obviously an alcoholic sat down next to me and a very awkward half an hour followed during which I tried my best to use my therapeutic conversation techniques and he somehow took that as flirting. When he finally walked away, I bolted back to the main door, fumbling with my key like the clumsy main character in a horror movie. I vowed never to go outside by myself again.
It did eventually get better. I was allowed to participate more in the unit activities. I took over medications for all of my preceptor's patients in my first week, including bi-weekly IM injections. I conducted interviews with several patients on the unit even though I wasn't officially responsible for them. I took part in rounds and called hospitals and family members to get medical records that were missing. It was a hell of a lot better than what my friends were doing down in the Memory Clinic: MMSE day in, day out, some tai chi (YEAH) and computer programs designed to stimulate memory and learning. I shadowed in the memory clinic for one hour and it was deadly dull. They do mostly paperwork down there. I do want to have a clinic eventually, but I doubt my paperwork will be as absurdly pointless as theirs.
I also got more comfortable being around patients who could potentially have a psychotic episode at any given moment. The trick, I think, is being calm and firm. Most patients were on their medications, which meant that they were very unlikely to try and choke you out of the blue. Due to a panic button shortage, I ended up not having one for most of my stay there, which was admittedly dangerous when I think about it. But I was never very far from the nursing station and there was always a staff member nearby to step in or go get help.
There were two memorable incidents, which would have escalated into something very unpleasant if I hadn't gotten help immediately. The first involved a young male patient with a history of sexual harrassment and assault, which actually landed him in the unit via a court order. I was trying to get a patient to take her morning meds when I felt something brush past my butt. I looked up and the man was walking away from me. I couldn't decide if he was just walking by and accidentally touched me, but then why wouldn't he choose to walk between the other tables where there was a lot of space? I told my preceptor as soon as the patient took her medications and he brought it to everyone's attention during the morning report. Then there was a patient meeting with my preceptor, the unit coordinator, me and the patient in a smaller office. My preceptor basically came out and told the patient that he knew the patient did it on purpose. The patient didn't try to deny it and simply left the room.
My initial reaction was perturbation, I think. I was really hoping that the patient didn't do it on purpose, because the fact that someone could deliberately do that to me was very upsetting. And I couldn't retaliate in any other way, because he is sick (and mentally retarded). The court found him not responsible for his actions because of his illness and I completely understand that, but it still took a couple of days before I could give him his medication without feeling an underlying sense of dread. In a way, it was good that I had this kind of experience early on, because now I know to be more vigilant and I know what to do.
The second incident upset me much more. It was my second last day on the unit and I was giving morning medications to the same patient I was trying to convince in the first episode. She is a really sick lady. She's completely paranoid, delusional, irrational and sarcastic. She was apparently much better when she was on lithium, but it had to be stopped because she started having kidney problems. Anyway, there was nothing new that morning. She was mocking the way I spoke and was extremely annoyed that I was interrupting her breakfast, but I was used to her insults by that point. Then she started breaking one of her many many pills in half. I asked her what she was doing and she started screaming that she always took half the pill. I reminded her that she'd been taking the same pill every morning for a long time. That's when she showed me her fist and asked if I would like being punched in the face. Thankfully, a nurse stepped in at that point and I was allowed to leave the unit to regain my composure. I sat outside on a bench and cried. It was ridiculous. I shouldn't have taken it so personally because she was...well, there's no other word than "insane" really, but in that split second when she threatened to punch me, I was shocked. Angry, too. I have a terrible temper when pushed and if I hadn't been in a mental hospital, I probably would have screamed something like "What the fuck did you just say to me?" and flipped over a table or two. When I came back, there was a patient meeting with my preceptor, the nurse who helped me and the patient. After 10 minutes of reining in her absurd tangents and digressions, they finally got her to apologize to me with much reluctance. I doubt it actually got through to her that aggression is unacceptable towards anyone, because she's in such a haze of paranoid and persecutory delusions, but she did apologize. That was an improvement enough for me.
Of course, in a place like that, the bad stuff is always more memorable. But I like to think I have some nice memories to make up for them. The nurses and other staff are very nice, for one thing. They're no Nurse Ratchet, that's for sure. They get frustrated too, because some patients are so resistant to helping themselves and psychiatry isn't exactly known for its "cures", but they genuinely like working at the hospital and they try their best to help their patients. I'll remember all the advice they gave me for the rest of my career.
Important things I learned about psych:
1) Get a damn panic button and wear it.
2) Don't assume that the patients can think as rationally as you. But try to reorient them in the real world as much as possible.
3) They're really like children. They're either extremely well-behaved or frustrating like the devil.
4) Be nice, but let them know that you're not to be trifled with when they overstep boundaries.
5) Don't take anything personally and leave everything behind when you're done for the day.
Hmm...now that I've written it, it's a bit lacking in humour, no?
Saturday, May 23, 2009
*blink blink*
That is correct. I am up at 2am on a Friday night, figuring out how to install and use the Japanese IME on my computer instead of sleeping like a normal person.
그렇소. 새벽 2시에 자기는 커녕 컴퓨터로 일어 쓰는 방법을 궁리하고 있소이다.
そうです。にじ、きんようび、にほんご、 バソコン、something something. I'm working on it.
그렇소. 새벽 2시에 자기는 커녕 컴퓨터로 일어 쓰는 방법을 궁리하고 있소이다.
そうです。にじ、きんようび、にほんご、 バソコン、something something. I'm working on it.
Monday, May 4, 2009
One year left.
I came back from Toronto last night after a blissful vacation of 10 days and found a one-year lease renewal form stuck on my door. My lease is up at the end of July and even though my original plan back in 2007 was to work in Montreal for awhile after graduation, I've been feeling rather homesick of late. Therefore, I'm planning on applying to a hospital in Toronto for my final internship next May. So I asked my landlady what I have to do if I want to leave before my lease is up next year and she told me that I shouldn't have too much trouble finding a tenant to sublet. That's fine with me.
I like my life in Montreal. My tiny studio apartment is crammed with my own stuff. Not quite perfect, given the small amount of space and lack of counters in the kitchen, but it's MINE. I cook when I want to, I leave the door open to the balcony and there's no one around to poke around my stuff. I find that I'm a lot neater now that I don't live with anyone. When I leave, I'll probably leave a lot of stuff behind, like the kitchen table where I usually toss books and keys and knick knacks rather than actually eat something. I'll leave behind my old crappy Ikea desk and dresser for sure. I'm kind of excited about the prospect of getting rid of this stuff, actually. Like shedding off the old things and becoming a more grown-up version of me. It's quite nice to think about.
I'll have to buy a new desk and everything else when I get back to Toronto, but it'll be okay. I'll get the ginormous dark-coloured desk of my dreams so I can spread books and papers all over it. It'll be freaking sweet.
I like my life in Montreal. My tiny studio apartment is crammed with my own stuff. Not quite perfect, given the small amount of space and lack of counters in the kitchen, but it's MINE. I cook when I want to, I leave the door open to the balcony and there's no one around to poke around my stuff. I find that I'm a lot neater now that I don't live with anyone. When I leave, I'll probably leave a lot of stuff behind, like the kitchen table where I usually toss books and keys and knick knacks rather than actually eat something. I'll leave behind my old crappy Ikea desk and dresser for sure. I'm kind of excited about the prospect of getting rid of this stuff, actually. Like shedding off the old things and becoming a more grown-up version of me. It's quite nice to think about.
I'll have to buy a new desk and everything else when I get back to Toronto, but it'll be okay. I'll get the ginormous dark-coloured desk of my dreams so I can spread books and papers all over it. It'll be freaking sweet.
Friday, March 20, 2009
My Ultimate Sacrifice...
...for people thinking about reading, watching or having anything whatsoever to do with "Hana Yori Dango" (Flowers over Boys).
I have read/watched many a stupid thing. After all, I am the person who actively sought out the animated LOTR movie, bought the DVD and watched it. TWICE. I've also read quite a few of Anne Rice's novels, which everyone will admit are not the pinnacle of literature.
But no, this cannot go on. I cannot understand the popularity of this terrible terrible series and to prevent poor innocents from stumbling across it like I did and suffering as a consequence, I will hereby write a synopsis.
First, an introduction: Hana Yori Dango is a Japanese manga which has been turned into an anime series and live action shows in Japan, Taiwan and Korea most recently. Apparently, it's horribly popular. Now, I've only read 4 complete manga series: Rose of Versailles, Kindaichi Case Files, Fruits Basket and this thing. So I'm not the greatest connoisseur of manga or anything like that, but I know what I like. And I don't like this. I hate it. I hate it SO MUCH.
Characters:
Girl in the middle (aka. Bloody Idiot): Main character of Hana Yori Dango. EVERYONE falls in love with her. EVERYONE. Why? What are her redeeming qualities? I know this is a shoujo, so girls are supposed to be able to insert themselves easily into the main character, but this girl has NOTHING going on. She punches and kicks people a lot, I guess. YEAH.
Guy on left with short blonde hair (aka. Aspergers Doofus): One of the F4, a group of 4 supposedly hot rich guys. Bloody Idiot falls in love with him in the beginning. Apparently, it's hinted that he has Aspergers syndrome? Whatever. I don't care enough to find out.
Guy on right with ridiculour reggae hair (aka. Sociopath): Leader of the F4. He's the main guy, who falls in love with Bloody Idiot and gets together with her at the end. Yeah, I ruined it for you. If you couldn't tell from the particular expression he has up there, then you need to read more manga.
Guys in the back (Mimbo 1 and Mimbo 2): Other two members of F4. They're rich playboys, yadda yadda, they're useless, flavourless and wholly uninteresting.
Synopsis:
Bloody Idiot goes to a rich kids' high school, even though her family's dirt poor. One day, she accidentally falls down the staircase and stomps on Sociopath's face. As payback, Sociopath puts a red tag in her locker, a declaration of war against her from the entire school (apparently being filthy rich gives you the right to do this).
So Bloody Idiot leads a miserable life getting egged and beaten up, but is determined to win. Meanwhile, she falls in love with Aspergers Doofus, who is in love with a childhood friend, who is not in love with anyone. Sociopath sees how plucky Bloody Idiot is and starts being interested in her (there's some sort of weird crush on his older sister that he's projecting onto Bloody Idiot or something). Random Girl 1 spreads around a rumour that Bloody Idiot is a hussy and Sociopath believes it for a bit, but then decides to rescue Bloody Idiot from a mob of students who is dragging her behind a car?
Seriously, what is this crap?
Anyhoo, Bloody Idiot gets rescued, Sociopath declares his love for the first time. And his hair's all straight, because he declares his love after a shower. The author of this sensational bit of retardedness tries to imply that he's at his most vulnerable when his hair is straight.
If I snorted any harder, my brain would shoot out of my nostrils.
Bloody Idiot can't decide whether she likes him or not, because if you remember, she's got a thing going for Aspergers Doofus. But Aspergers Doofus decides to fly to France to chase after the girl that he loves. So Bloody Idiot decides, hey, he's gone, might as well string Sociopath along.
Sociopath, contrary to his name, starts being ridiculously charming to Bloody Idiot and she starts to fall for him. But then Aspergers Doofus comes back from France because things didn't work out with his girl! They (Bloody Idiot and F4) go to Sociopath's vacation house by a beach someplace. Late at night, Bloody Idiot ends up kissing Aspergers Doofus on the beach. Sociopath gets super mad.
When they return home, Sociopath tries to get Bloody Idiot and Aspergers Doofus expelled from school by threatening to cut off his family's yearly donation. Sociopath's older sister stops this scheme and instead suggests a 3-on-3 basketball game to decide who wins.
[INSERT PEAL OF DERISIVE LAUGHTER HERE]
The night before the game, Sociopath declares his love for the second time. She hesitates, so he slams her into the wall and tries to kiss her. This is not the only incident of sexual assault in this manga. I was starting to think that this manga was specifically written for people who're into that kind of thing. Or the author has some major issues.
The next day, just as Sociopath's team is about to win, he decides that the game is stupid and leaves for New York. Meanwhile, Bloody Idiot and Aspergers Doofus break up because they decide that they'd rather be friends anyway. Sociopath discovers this when he's in New York and returns promptly. Once he returns, Sociopath and Bloody Idiot start going out. Or something. It's very vague, supposedly to add "tension" to the romance.
Sociopath decides that he's going to enter her into the Miss Teen Japan contest so that she can rise to his social status or something.
I...I'm just gonna sigh and continue writing. By the way, I'm at chapter 63 out of 241.
BLAH BLAH BLAH, by a total fluke, Bloody Idiot becomes Runner-up at the Miss Teen Japan contest. What a way to just skip over 10 chapters.
Sociopath decides that he wants to go to Canada and forces the rest of F4 and Bloody Idiot to come. Some spiteful girls tag along, because they don't want the F4 to be tainted by the poor people mannerisms of Bloody Idiot. I would have just disliked her because she's so dumb, not because she's poor.
For the love of heaven, Bloody Idiot, stop pointing out how fabulously rich Sociopath is! "Wow, look at this mansion! I guess he's that rich, huh." You've seen two of his other mansions, his yacht and his private island. SHUT UP.
They go to a chalet on the Rockies someplace and the spiteful cows trick Bloody Idiot into wandering out into a snowstorm at night. Sociopath goes out looking for her and carries her hypothermic ass into some abandoned cabin. After some ridiculous number of pages depicting manga-style sexual tension, they fall asleep.
They return to the chalet in the morning. Spiteful cows are kicked out. They all return home. Bloody Idiot is approached by the younger brother of an old school friend. He's a model? Anyway, it turns out that he was using her as bait to get to Sociopath, who beat up his friend in the past. Sociopath ends up in the hospital. That's what you get when you're a violent sociopath who constantly escapes justice because of your wealth, my friend.
Bloody Idiot is trying to decide whether she really likes Sociopath or not. Sociopath invites her to his birthday party where she meets his mother (Evil Bitch) for the first time. Evil Bitch insults her and Sociopath escapes from the party with Bloody Idiot.
Evil Bitch forces a surprise engagement on Sociopath with a girl from a super rich family (Random Girl 2). Random Girl 2 claims to have fallen in love with Sociopath and because he's all frustrated by the dumbassery of Bloody Idiot, he agrees to go out with her. Then he decides that no, he's really REALLY in love with Bloody Idiot, so he dumps Random Girl 2 and they break off their engagement. Bloody Idiot decides to fight against Evil Bitch, not because she has real feelings for Sociopath, but because she feels insulted and wants to win.
God...why...
Bloody Idiot's family becomes destitute and they go to the countryside, leaving her behind to finish school. Bloody Idiot has nowhere to stay, so she becomes a maid in Sociopath's mansion while Evil Bitch is away on business. His personal servant.
GOD. WHY...
Bloody Idiot tells him that she wants to go out with him. Happiness doesn't last long, obviously, because there are still 118 chapters left in this godawful piece of work. Evil Bitch decides to ruin the companies of Bloody Idiot's friends. Bloody Idiot says that she will stay away from Sociopath and Evil Bitch makes everything back the way it was. Bloody Idiot breaks up with Sociopath outside on the street in a thunderstorm (naturally the ideal setting for a manga breakup). But she doesn't tell him WHY she's doing it.
What a friggin' idiot.
Bloody Idiot runs away to her family in the countryside who's been mooching off their neighbours by telling them that Bloody Idiot was engaged to Sociopath. The idiocy runs in their whole family, evidently. She starts to work in a stand by the beach that sells corn on the cob. Aspergers Doofus happens to see her on TV after she's been missing for a week. He convinces Sociopath to come to the countryside with him and rescue Bloody Idiot from the squalor.
Sociopath and Aspergers Doofus help Bloody Idiot's family move back to Tokyo. The family is more grating than every other character in this fricking thing.
Sociopath is still mad at Bloody Idiot, so she goes for a set-up party with her friends. She meets a Sociopath lookalike (Creepy Bugger), who says that he's Sociopath's cousin. It turns out that Creepy Bugger was just some random guy who was hired by Evil Bitch to seduce Bloody Idiot away from Sociopath. In the end, Crazy Bugger helps Bloody Idiot by pretending to Evil Bitch that he succeeded. Bloody Idiot and Sociopath get back together.
Evil Bitch eventually finds out and forces Sociopath to move to New York. Bloody Idiot chases after Sociopath and finds his house with some random people's help. Evil Bitch invites her in. Bloody idiot declares her love for him (after almost 200 chapters), but Sociopath rejects her coldly. Bloody Idiot leaves and finds Aspergers Doofus who came to New York to help her just in case. While wandering around New York, Bloody Idiot helps out a man who turns out to be in the middle of a business deal with Evil Bitch. Bloody Idiot saves Evil Bitch's business deal. To pay her back, Evil Bitch allows Sociopath to meet Bloody Idiot at the airport before she flies back to Japan with Aspergers Doofus. Aspergers Doofus punches Sociopath.
Bloody Idiot returns to Japan with Aspergers Doofus. Sociopath shows up randomly at her house. It's revealed that Evil Bitch granted Sociopath complete freedom for 2 years if he dumps Bloody Idiot. That makes a whole ton of sense, alright. They are kidnapped by some shady men and put on a deserted yacht that's on autopilot. They end up on a deserted island but find out the next day that Mimbo 1 and Mimbo 2 planned it all along and it's actually an island that's being developed as a resort. Bloody Idiot and Sociopath reaffirm their love.
Okay, only 30 chapters left.
As they're getting off the boat on their way back home, some random guy stabs Sociopath. He ends up in the hospital and almost dies on the operating table. When he wakes up, he has no memory of Bloody Idiot.
Amnesia? HONESTLY? This is the height of retardation, right here.
Another patient at the hospital (Random Girl 3) moves in on him and tries to convince him that there's no point trying to remember the past. Instead of kicking her ass, as is her normal reaction to things, Bloody Idiot becomes depressed and decides to give up on Sociopath. She visits Sociopath's house and throws a baseball (a souvenir from a date) at his head in frustration. A few days later, Sociopath shows up at her house because the baseball restored his memory.
Woopdewoop, they're in love.
When Sociopath's father falls ill, he has to take responsibility for the family business so he decides that he has to go to New York. For FOUR GODDAMN YEARS. He promises to come back for her.
They go off to an island resort by themselves. Bloody Idiot falls into the pool. She has a bath afterwards. Later during an intimate moment, Bloody Idiot develops a fever (manga characters are genetically predisposed to developing fevers at the drop of a hat) and the two bleeding bloody idiot characters remain chaste.
Sociopath flies to New York after prom and Bloody Idiot will wait for him for the next four years. I don't understand what the big deal is. He's super rich. He has a private plane. It's not like he can't fly back once in awhile or fly her to New York once in awhile.
Did I mention that all of this happens when she's in grade 11 and he's in grade 12? They're high school kids. They're idiots! Everyone is at that age!
DUMBEST MANGA EVER. So don't read it.
I have read/watched many a stupid thing. After all, I am the person who actively sought out the animated LOTR movie, bought the DVD and watched it. TWICE. I've also read quite a few of Anne Rice's novels, which everyone will admit are not the pinnacle of literature.
But no, this cannot go on. I cannot understand the popularity of this terrible terrible series and to prevent poor innocents from stumbling across it like I did and suffering as a consequence, I will hereby write a synopsis.
First, an introduction: Hana Yori Dango is a Japanese manga which has been turned into an anime series and live action shows in Japan, Taiwan and Korea most recently. Apparently, it's horribly popular. Now, I've only read 4 complete manga series: Rose of Versailles, Kindaichi Case Files, Fruits Basket and this thing. So I'm not the greatest connoisseur of manga or anything like that, but I know what I like. And I don't like this. I hate it. I hate it SO MUCH.
Characters:
Girl in the middle (aka. Bloody Idiot): Main character of Hana Yori Dango. EVERYONE falls in love with her. EVERYONE. Why? What are her redeeming qualities? I know this is a shoujo, so girls are supposed to be able to insert themselves easily into the main character, but this girl has NOTHING going on. She punches and kicks people a lot, I guess. YEAH.Guy on left with short blonde hair (aka. Aspergers Doofus): One of the F4, a group of 4 supposedly hot rich guys. Bloody Idiot falls in love with him in the beginning. Apparently, it's hinted that he has Aspergers syndrome? Whatever. I don't care enough to find out.
Guy on right with ridiculour reggae hair (aka. Sociopath): Leader of the F4. He's the main guy, who falls in love with Bloody Idiot and gets together with her at the end. Yeah, I ruined it for you. If you couldn't tell from the particular expression he has up there, then you need to read more manga.
Guys in the back (Mimbo 1 and Mimbo 2): Other two members of F4. They're rich playboys, yadda yadda, they're useless, flavourless and wholly uninteresting.
Synopsis:
Bloody Idiot goes to a rich kids' high school, even though her family's dirt poor. One day, she accidentally falls down the staircase and stomps on Sociopath's face. As payback, Sociopath puts a red tag in her locker, a declaration of war against her from the entire school (apparently being filthy rich gives you the right to do this).
So Bloody Idiot leads a miserable life getting egged and beaten up, but is determined to win. Meanwhile, she falls in love with Aspergers Doofus, who is in love with a childhood friend, who is not in love with anyone. Sociopath sees how plucky Bloody Idiot is and starts being interested in her (there's some sort of weird crush on his older sister that he's projecting onto Bloody Idiot or something). Random Girl 1 spreads around a rumour that Bloody Idiot is a hussy and Sociopath believes it for a bit, but then decides to rescue Bloody Idiot from a mob of students who is dragging her behind a car?
Seriously, what is this crap?
Anyhoo, Bloody Idiot gets rescued, Sociopath declares his love for the first time. And his hair's all straight, because he declares his love after a shower. The author of this sensational bit of retardedness tries to imply that he's at his most vulnerable when his hair is straight.
If I snorted any harder, my brain would shoot out of my nostrils.
Bloody Idiot can't decide whether she likes him or not, because if you remember, she's got a thing going for Aspergers Doofus. But Aspergers Doofus decides to fly to France to chase after the girl that he loves. So Bloody Idiot decides, hey, he's gone, might as well string Sociopath along.
Sociopath, contrary to his name, starts being ridiculously charming to Bloody Idiot and she starts to fall for him. But then Aspergers Doofus comes back from France because things didn't work out with his girl! They (Bloody Idiot and F4) go to Sociopath's vacation house by a beach someplace. Late at night, Bloody Idiot ends up kissing Aspergers Doofus on the beach. Sociopath gets super mad.
When they return home, Sociopath tries to get Bloody Idiot and Aspergers Doofus expelled from school by threatening to cut off his family's yearly donation. Sociopath's older sister stops this scheme and instead suggests a 3-on-3 basketball game to decide who wins.
[INSERT PEAL OF DERISIVE LAUGHTER HERE]
The night before the game, Sociopath declares his love for the second time. She hesitates, so he slams her into the wall and tries to kiss her. This is not the only incident of sexual assault in this manga. I was starting to think that this manga was specifically written for people who're into that kind of thing. Or the author has some major issues.
The next day, just as Sociopath's team is about to win, he decides that the game is stupid and leaves for New York. Meanwhile, Bloody Idiot and Aspergers Doofus break up because they decide that they'd rather be friends anyway. Sociopath discovers this when he's in New York and returns promptly. Once he returns, Sociopath and Bloody Idiot start going out. Or something. It's very vague, supposedly to add "tension" to the romance.
Sociopath decides that he's going to enter her into the Miss Teen Japan contest so that she can rise to his social status or something.
I...I'm just gonna sigh and continue writing. By the way, I'm at chapter 63 out of 241.
BLAH BLAH BLAH, by a total fluke, Bloody Idiot becomes Runner-up at the Miss Teen Japan contest. What a way to just skip over 10 chapters.
Sociopath decides that he wants to go to Canada and forces the rest of F4 and Bloody Idiot to come. Some spiteful girls tag along, because they don't want the F4 to be tainted by the poor people mannerisms of Bloody Idiot. I would have just disliked her because she's so dumb, not because she's poor.
For the love of heaven, Bloody Idiot, stop pointing out how fabulously rich Sociopath is! "Wow, look at this mansion! I guess he's that rich, huh." You've seen two of his other mansions, his yacht and his private island. SHUT UP.
They go to a chalet on the Rockies someplace and the spiteful cows trick Bloody Idiot into wandering out into a snowstorm at night. Sociopath goes out looking for her and carries her hypothermic ass into some abandoned cabin. After some ridiculous number of pages depicting manga-style sexual tension, they fall asleep.
They return to the chalet in the morning. Spiteful cows are kicked out. They all return home. Bloody Idiot is approached by the younger brother of an old school friend. He's a model? Anyway, it turns out that he was using her as bait to get to Sociopath, who beat up his friend in the past. Sociopath ends up in the hospital. That's what you get when you're a violent sociopath who constantly escapes justice because of your wealth, my friend.
Bloody Idiot is trying to decide whether she really likes Sociopath or not. Sociopath invites her to his birthday party where she meets his mother (Evil Bitch) for the first time. Evil Bitch insults her and Sociopath escapes from the party with Bloody Idiot.
Evil Bitch forces a surprise engagement on Sociopath with a girl from a super rich family (Random Girl 2). Random Girl 2 claims to have fallen in love with Sociopath and because he's all frustrated by the dumbassery of Bloody Idiot, he agrees to go out with her. Then he decides that no, he's really REALLY in love with Bloody Idiot, so he dumps Random Girl 2 and they break off their engagement. Bloody Idiot decides to fight against Evil Bitch, not because she has real feelings for Sociopath, but because she feels insulted and wants to win.
God...why...
Bloody Idiot's family becomes destitute and they go to the countryside, leaving her behind to finish school. Bloody Idiot has nowhere to stay, so she becomes a maid in Sociopath's mansion while Evil Bitch is away on business. His personal servant.
GOD. WHY...
Bloody Idiot tells him that she wants to go out with him. Happiness doesn't last long, obviously, because there are still 118 chapters left in this godawful piece of work. Evil Bitch decides to ruin the companies of Bloody Idiot's friends. Bloody Idiot says that she will stay away from Sociopath and Evil Bitch makes everything back the way it was. Bloody Idiot breaks up with Sociopath outside on the street in a thunderstorm (naturally the ideal setting for a manga breakup). But she doesn't tell him WHY she's doing it.
What a friggin' idiot.
Bloody Idiot runs away to her family in the countryside who's been mooching off their neighbours by telling them that Bloody Idiot was engaged to Sociopath. The idiocy runs in their whole family, evidently. She starts to work in a stand by the beach that sells corn on the cob. Aspergers Doofus happens to see her on TV after she's been missing for a week. He convinces Sociopath to come to the countryside with him and rescue Bloody Idiot from the squalor.
Sociopath and Aspergers Doofus help Bloody Idiot's family move back to Tokyo. The family is more grating than every other character in this fricking thing.
Sociopath is still mad at Bloody Idiot, so she goes for a set-up party with her friends. She meets a Sociopath lookalike (Creepy Bugger), who says that he's Sociopath's cousin. It turns out that Creepy Bugger was just some random guy who was hired by Evil Bitch to seduce Bloody Idiot away from Sociopath. In the end, Crazy Bugger helps Bloody Idiot by pretending to Evil Bitch that he succeeded. Bloody Idiot and Sociopath get back together.
Evil Bitch eventually finds out and forces Sociopath to move to New York. Bloody Idiot chases after Sociopath and finds his house with some random people's help. Evil Bitch invites her in. Bloody idiot declares her love for him (after almost 200 chapters), but Sociopath rejects her coldly. Bloody Idiot leaves and finds Aspergers Doofus who came to New York to help her just in case. While wandering around New York, Bloody Idiot helps out a man who turns out to be in the middle of a business deal with Evil Bitch. Bloody Idiot saves Evil Bitch's business deal. To pay her back, Evil Bitch allows Sociopath to meet Bloody Idiot at the airport before she flies back to Japan with Aspergers Doofus. Aspergers Doofus punches Sociopath.
Bloody Idiot returns to Japan with Aspergers Doofus. Sociopath shows up randomly at her house. It's revealed that Evil Bitch granted Sociopath complete freedom for 2 years if he dumps Bloody Idiot. That makes a whole ton of sense, alright. They are kidnapped by some shady men and put on a deserted yacht that's on autopilot. They end up on a deserted island but find out the next day that Mimbo 1 and Mimbo 2 planned it all along and it's actually an island that's being developed as a resort. Bloody Idiot and Sociopath reaffirm their love.
Okay, only 30 chapters left.
As they're getting off the boat on their way back home, some random guy stabs Sociopath. He ends up in the hospital and almost dies on the operating table. When he wakes up, he has no memory of Bloody Idiot.
Amnesia? HONESTLY? This is the height of retardation, right here.
Another patient at the hospital (Random Girl 3) moves in on him and tries to convince him that there's no point trying to remember the past. Instead of kicking her ass, as is her normal reaction to things, Bloody Idiot becomes depressed and decides to give up on Sociopath. She visits Sociopath's house and throws a baseball (a souvenir from a date) at his head in frustration. A few days later, Sociopath shows up at her house because the baseball restored his memory.
Woopdewoop, they're in love.
When Sociopath's father falls ill, he has to take responsibility for the family business so he decides that he has to go to New York. For FOUR GODDAMN YEARS. He promises to come back for her.
They go off to an island resort by themselves. Bloody Idiot falls into the pool. She has a bath afterwards. Later during an intimate moment, Bloody Idiot develops a fever (manga characters are genetically predisposed to developing fevers at the drop of a hat) and the two bleeding bloody idiot characters remain chaste.
Sociopath flies to New York after prom and Bloody Idiot will wait for him for the next four years. I don't understand what the big deal is. He's super rich. He has a private plane. It's not like he can't fly back once in awhile or fly her to New York once in awhile.
Did I mention that all of this happens when she's in grade 11 and he's in grade 12? They're high school kids. They're idiots! Everyone is at that age!
DUMBEST MANGA EVER. So don't read it.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
The Impossible Task
Many said it could not be done.
E'en giants, boasting of their height and strength shook their heads at the thought. But lo, four heroes of unquenchable pluck and boundless energy (on a Sunday night, no less!) have moved the immovable! The behemoth of the family room is now in its final resting spot in the basement and there it shall stay forevermore. Unless you hire professional movers, because I certainly won't be attempting a move AGAINST gravity.
This is a monument to their courage and commitment which led them to attempt the impossible during the time they could have spent playing Rock Band. Listen and you will hear their victorious cry: "In your face, Jerome!"
See the record of our triumph.
E'en giants, boasting of their height and strength shook their heads at the thought. But lo, four heroes of unquenchable pluck and boundless energy (on a Sunday night, no less!) have moved the immovable! The behemoth of the family room is now in its final resting spot in the basement and there it shall stay forevermore. Unless you hire professional movers, because I certainly won't be attempting a move AGAINST gravity.
This is a monument to their courage and commitment which led them to attempt the impossible during the time they could have spent playing Rock Band. Listen and you will hear their victorious cry: "In your face, Jerome!"
See the record of our triumph.
I am a carcoleptic.
Wow, that actually sounds quite serious than it actually is.
I found this in the Sunday Star, in the section where they list a bunch of newly invented words. This is me...exactly. If I really really focus, I can stay awake, but the drive between Toronto and Montreal is ridonculously long. Once we hit a highway, it's like I've taken a dose of Nyquil or something. ^_^;;
At least I always feel bad about it and apologize!
I found this in the Sunday Star, in the section where they list a bunch of newly invented words. This is me...exactly. If I really really focus, I can stay awake, but the drive between Toronto and Montreal is ridonculously long. Once we hit a highway, it's like I've taken a dose of Nyquil or something. ^_^;;
At least I always feel bad about it and apologize!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Cooking Attempts 30~32: Cream of Carrot Soup, Shoyu Ramen and Potato Salad
I'm putting these dishes together, because I basically copied the recipe online. I just love looking at pictures of food. I could watch the Food Network all day, I swear. Except when they have a zillion barbeque shows in a row, because it's boring, the hosts (usually men) are always half-shouting at the camera and they never ever wear gloves when they're handling the meat.
Cream of Carrot Soup
This is basically a reworking of the smoky potato and broccoli soup I made in October. I love love LOVE the warm orange colour. I also like to add a ton of pepper just before I eat it. Mmm~
Shoyu Ramen
This is soy sauce flavoured ramen that I made from scratch! I think Korean instant ramen is the best, but if you want authentic ramen, it's Japanese all the way.
Potato Salad
I didn't use red potatoes like it says in the recipe, but it was still yummy. Red or yellow, you still get the potassium in the skin. Go go, potassium!
Cream of Carrot Soup
This is basically a reworking of the smoky potato and broccoli soup I made in October. I love love LOVE the warm orange colour. I also like to add a ton of pepper just before I eat it. Mmm~
Shoyu Ramen
This is soy sauce flavoured ramen that I made from scratch! I think Korean instant ramen is the best, but if you want authentic ramen, it's Japanese all the way.
Potato Salad
I didn't use red potatoes like it says in the recipe, but it was still yummy. Red or yellow, you still get the potassium in the skin. Go go, potassium!
Cooking Attempt #29: Sushi Pizza
Actually, it's smoked salmon pizza, but I got the idea at a restaurant near Vaughan Mills that Robert and I went to some time ago. It was my first time having salmon sushi pizza and I've wanted to try making it ever since.
Ingredients:
rice
soy sauce
130g package of smoked salmon
1 tbsp mayo
1 tbsp wasabi
1 tsp vinegar
chopped green onion
I looked around on the web to find the best way to make the crispy rice crust. The one that seemed the most plausible was to brush the rice with soy sauce and then pan fry it. First I lined a small circular tupperware with saran wrap. Then I scooped some cooked rice into it and squashed it down to make a nice thin patty (less than 1cm thick). The saran wrap made it easy for me to pop out of the mold. The best way to cook it is to brush one side with soy sauce, but not too much that it starts to fall apart. You can brush the other side with soy sauce while it's frying in the pan. I cooked it for about 5 minutes on both sides until it was a nice brown. It worked well, but I think the crust at the restaurant was crispier. Almost like tempura. I'm going to have to try it again in Toronto. This is the hardest part, really.
This is the nicest one, don't you think?
I cut the sliced smoked salmon into smaller bite-size pieces and mixed the mayo, wasabi and vinegar together. I spread the salmon on the crust, drizzled the sauce and sprinkled the green onion on top. Voilà! You could also add sliced avocadoes, but I'm not a big fan.
Doesn't it look pretty good for a first try? I'm taking the prettier ones to the hospital tomorrow for lunch.
Ingredients:
rice
soy sauce
130g package of smoked salmon
1 tbsp mayo
1 tbsp wasabi
1 tsp vinegar
chopped green onion
I looked around on the web to find the best way to make the crispy rice crust. The one that seemed the most plausible was to brush the rice with soy sauce and then pan fry it. First I lined a small circular tupperware with saran wrap. Then I scooped some cooked rice into it and squashed it down to make a nice thin patty (less than 1cm thick). The saran wrap made it easy for me to pop out of the mold. The best way to cook it is to brush one side with soy sauce, but not too much that it starts to fall apart. You can brush the other side with soy sauce while it's frying in the pan. I cooked it for about 5 minutes on both sides until it was a nice brown. It worked well, but I think the crust at the restaurant was crispier. Almost like tempura. I'm going to have to try it again in Toronto. This is the hardest part, really.
This is the nicest one, don't you think?I cut the sliced smoked salmon into smaller bite-size pieces and mixed the mayo, wasabi and vinegar together. I spread the salmon on the crust, drizzled the sauce and sprinkled the green onion on top. Voilà! You could also add sliced avocadoes, but I'm not a big fan.
Doesn't it look pretty good for a first try? I'm taking the prettier ones to the hospital tomorrow for lunch.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
When you give blood, don't tell your nurse that you're a nursing student.
On a whim, I decided to go with a friend to a Hema-Québec clinic at school. I haven't donated blood in awhile, because they always ask at the Canadian Blood Society if you've donated in Quebec and it makes me paranoid somehow that they won't let me donate if I have. Plus, I have my super favourite CBS clinic at Hillcrest. Clean, bright, not too crowded and the best cookie selections. Having been multiple times to clinics at Westmount, U of T, TD Centre, College Street and Sheppard, I consider myself something of a connoisseur.
They do things a bit differently here. Instead of checking your blood for hemoglobin levels right after they ask about your address and phone number (so that they can tell you immediately whether you're eligible or not), they make you wait for ages until you're in the booth with a nurse. For someone who tends to have hemoglobin levels *just* below the required level from time to time, this is worth nitpicking.
I was watching my nurse as she was about to insert the needle into my vein. She said, "You're going to watch?" I said, "Yes, I'm a nursing student, so I want to learn." This made her, a nurse with 10 years of experience, nervous enough that she went through the vein to the other side. Perhaps at this point, I should have looked away, but I couldn't. I watched as she pulled the needle out ever so slowly back into the vein. Even then, it took awhile for the blood to flow properly and they'd only gotten 250mL (out of 450mL) by the time the vein stopped being good. This has happened only once before and that time, the only thing left to do was getting blood cultures, so they used a smaller needle on my other arm.
My point is, this is a nurse with 10 years of experience who gets nervous just because I'm watching her. What's going to happen to me when I have to do this with my patients while my teacher watches? Anyone who's seen me play video games knows that I get very squealy when monsters/zombies/enemy soldiers/a particularly difficult section in Rock Band appear. But I like to think that when it comes to something really serious, I'm steady under pressure.
God, I hope so.
They do things a bit differently here. Instead of checking your blood for hemoglobin levels right after they ask about your address and phone number (so that they can tell you immediately whether you're eligible or not), they make you wait for ages until you're in the booth with a nurse. For someone who tends to have hemoglobin levels *just* below the required level from time to time, this is worth nitpicking.
I was watching my nurse as she was about to insert the needle into my vein. She said, "You're going to watch?" I said, "Yes, I'm a nursing student, so I want to learn." This made her, a nurse with 10 years of experience, nervous enough that she went through the vein to the other side. Perhaps at this point, I should have looked away, but I couldn't. I watched as she pulled the needle out ever so slowly back into the vein. Even then, it took awhile for the blood to flow properly and they'd only gotten 250mL (out of 450mL) by the time the vein stopped being good. This has happened only once before and that time, the only thing left to do was getting blood cultures, so they used a smaller needle on my other arm.
My point is, this is a nurse with 10 years of experience who gets nervous just because I'm watching her. What's going to happen to me when I have to do this with my patients while my teacher watches? Anyone who's seen me play video games knows that I get very squealy when monsters/zombies/enemy soldiers/a particularly difficult section in Rock Band appear. But I like to think that when it comes to something really serious, I'm steady under pressure.
God, I hope so.
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