A declaration.

To: You people know who you are

Please, for the love of beans, stop over analysing stuff. Especially relationship-y stuff.
You make me oh so tired.

Yes, I am your friend. I consider myself a damn good empathetic willing-to-cry-with-you-if-something-bad-happens type of friend. But I am only willing to do so if there is truly something to empathize about.

If you believe that the guy you rejected but now have feelings for but he was seeing someone but then you have reason to believe from the oh so reliable evidence from Facebook stalking that he isn't seeing that girl anymore so maybe you have a chance again- You see? I can no longer form sentences to describe your situation. And I used to be excellent at forming seemingly run-on sentences that were actually quite sensible.

The point is, if you do this to me, I will sit there with my smile-that-isn't-quite-a-smile and say, "Ah."

Maybe in the process of becoming a nurse, I have learned to differentiate between "hard evidence" and "you are analysing the way someone waved at you across a dark room?" level of foolishness.

Do me a favour. If you are interested, ask the person out. Do it. And no, a text message asking if the person is "free" sometime in the future to do "something" is not good enough. SMART goals, people.

Specific-Measurable-Attainable-Relevant-Time-bound

If you didn't include all these components into your significant discussions for plan making with someone, then I can't be bothered to listen to you whine when it falls through. And I don't believe in coddling anyone. You can find someone else to help you cling to false hopes or any sort of delusions by saying, "Oh yes, she will totally come back to you one day. TOTALLY.", because I don't do that.

I. Don't. Do. That.

So don't call me heartless and unsympathetic and wah wah wah. Because it's not just one person who is filling a balloon with honey-coloured daydreams that aren't at all realistic. It's MANY people, each with their own individual balloons and it is SUFFOCATING me.

At one point, I had to resort to scream-praying to God, okay? I haven't prayed since grade 6, okay? I don't even believe in God. I did that because of you. And your yammering. And believe me, I'm not trying to burst your bubble. I'm trying to deflate it as gently as I can.

So please, help me preserve my sanity. By doing so, you will be helping to create a sarcastic and fun Judy. Someone you can truly rely on to congratulate or comfort you when something significant happens.

Help me help you.
Help me help you.

Love and hugs, your friend.