Saturday, October 11, 2008

An Open Letter: Help yourself and avoid the stompage of my boot on your face.

Dear Professor Bok-bok,

Would you mind not being so damn inconsistent in your notes? Listen, I know that each hospital and lab has various standards for blood counts and whatnot, but people working at those places have the luxury of having the normal ranges listed RIGHT NEXT to the results.

*claw face*

You can't list normal serum osmolarity as being 280~300mmol/L in a table of important values we should know and then turn around and list 275~295mmol/L in your lecture slides.

Just like how you listed normal arterial bicarbonate as 22~26mmol/L in your lecture slides and 20~30mmmol/L in your module. That's a BIG difference, lady. I don't have the time to sit here and dig out everything that's wrong with your notes, okay? I also can't go buy a whole thing of juice cartons to go on a Rampage of Sweet Righteousness. Throw me a fricking bone, as Dr. Evil would say.

I swear to all that is holy to an agnostic, if I calculate serum osmolarity in one of your questions and the value happens to be something like 277.5mmol/L, I will be writing the following as my answer:
"This client's osmolarity is WNL according to your lecture notes and below normal limits according to Appendix A.3. SUCK ON IT. If you deduct marks, I will throw such a fit that you will think it is the Second Coming of Shoshannah. My foot, your face. Depend on it."

Too much?

1 comment:

julie said...

I have no idea what you are talking about here but holy frick was it ever funny - you kill me! :) :) :)